Weigh In Wednesday Week 31

Hello dolls! Sorry I haven't been posting on the blog lately. I'm not updating with a new vlog this week, either. My life has been kinda chaotic here lately and I haven't really been able to get around too good. Like I always say, July is my annual sick month. Something always goes terribly wrong with my body during this month! What's even crazier, exactly 6 years ago, this month, I was diagnosed with POTS. So, July will always haunt me. Anyways, last Tuesday I went in for a doctors visit to see if that ovarian cyst from last time has dissolved, and unfortunately, it has grown. Now it is at 5 cm. We've been talking about my options, the waiting period, and surgery. I've never had surgery before, so you can imagine that I feel pretty uneasy about everything right now. I've been on pain meds for two weeks and have been cut off from all forms of exercise, even walking.. which seriously sucks. Especially considering I was on my last week of Alpha with T25 and was about to start Beta. Josh is continuing on with the program and is steadily dropping pounds/getting lean.. while I'm over here eating everything in sight and basically crying a lot haha. I'm not writing to be a debbie-downer or anything, I'm just telling the truth. I don't know what's worse, knowing that there is a painful water balloon inside my body about to rupture.. not being able to continue T25 until it's gone.. or having surgery. Have you guys ever had an ovarian cyst before? The pain is unimaginable. I've had them plenty of times before, but never one of this size (that I know of). I do remember one bursting while I was in the drive thru at Zaxbys and I had to run inside and puke. Another time I woke up in the morning and felt a pain so severe it was like I was about to give birth or something. I ended up in the ER with that one.. and even wrote a little about it in this post. But now having one 5 cm.. it's really testing my faith. So, while I'm over here munching on chocolate things and watching HGTV and Sex & The City marathons, you be out there thankful that you're not in pain. It's so strange that we take so much for granted until something like this happens to us. Everyday we should be thankful for waking up, for no pain, for perfect health, etc. God is so good to me, so I know I'll get through this. I'll update soon on how things are going. ♥♥♥.


Just Being Me

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, {I'm buying this because (insert blogger name here) has it and so that means it's cool}? It's kinda like wanting to copy the popular girl in school. Her life just seems so flawless.. you'd beg your mom to take you to GAP to get that exact pink dress she was wearing last time you saw her.. or you bought a straightener, even though you hadn't a clue on how to use it, just because she had straight hair. Bloggers are very relatable in this situation to me. There are so many girls out there that are hungry for the popular bloggers. People are quick to change themselves so they can be just like them. I'm guilty of this too. One of the main things I have noticed that I changed my opinion entirely on was gold. I used to loathe anything gold. But now I love gold. I can pinpoint exactly where my gold obsession came from, and that is from a blogger I was obsessed with for years. Her style influenced me so much that I became obsessed with buying any gold piece of jewelry I could find. And now I can't have enough gold things. But what about when I see Elsie of A Beautiful Mess post pictures of her beautiful home on her Instagram/blog? I have to fight the will to paint my front door bright yellow and buy the last thing I saw featured in her house. That's scary. Especially since I've always hated the color yellow. Realizing that I have been buying/doing things just because another blogger has it/did it horrifies me.

So I've been thinking about different ways I could find my true self again. My pre-blogging self. I started this last year with my clothing. Whenever I shop and I compulsively grab something and think, {wow I bet (insert blogger name here) has/would love this!}, I will counteract with {am I buying this because this is something *I* actually like/want/need?} It's the weirdest thing you've probably heard someone do in a while, but trust me, it works for me. I stood in the same aisle at Marshalls for a good 30 minutes this past Wednesday questioning myself over my notebooks. There were so many adorable notebooks I found myself drawn to, but when I looked at them, all I could see were different bloggers I knew would love them or probably had them. So I put them all back and said to myself {ok, I'm not leaving this aisle until I find a notebook that I like. A notebook that when someone sees they'd totally say, "oh this notebook is so Lyndsey!"}. I put the notebook back I originally had {$4.99} and finally settled on a hot pink leather recycled notebook {$1.99}. The notebook I argued myself over was a gold and white polka dot notebook, much like the Kate Spade things I've seen a lot here lately. Don't get me wrong, I do love Kate Spade things, but I love saving money even more.. and it's really really hard to keep anything white clean. So, I'm proud of myself for choosing something I genuinely liked (& easier to clean) over what is popular right now. Baby steps!

I've also realized I am just a spur of the moment kind of gal. I love to do laundry and vacuum the entire house at 2 in the morning. I love getting last minute phone calls from my mom saying, "hey, lets go to Griffin today and thrift around, then grab some Chinese. Sound good?" I've never really had any kind of natural daily routine. I clean when I feel like it, I eat when I feel like it, I shower when I feel like it, I blog when I feel like it. I was miserable in school because everything had a time schedule and was so.. boring. You always knew what was coming next. When I try to organize and schedule out my daily life and blog.. it never works. I can't tell you how many times I have found myself reading IHeartOrganizing last 20 blog posts and thinking {man, I'm a lazy, unorganized sack of crap}. I'll go on a crazy spending binge of organizing things and once I get them I end up regretting spending money on things I never use. It just doesn't work for me.

I find myself thinking all the time {man, I'd be embarrassed for (insert blogger here) to come into my house..} but my question is why? Why should I be ashamed over the things I like? Why be embarrassed about someone walking into my humble home that is filled with so much love and dust and clothes baskets and crazy paint colors and cabinets with no handles? Why be embarrassed over my unorganized mess when that is just who I am? I want to admit something today that I am so proud of myself for. I have finally openly displayed my Holiday Barbie collection in my sewing room. Yep, I have a massive Barbie collection. From 1992 to the present. At first, I was so ashamed/embarrassed of these Barbies that I hid them in my closet, under my bed, in dresser drawers.. basically anywhere I could get them out of sight. But all of a sudden, as I was redoing my sewing room, I felt that something was terribly missing. I went in my closet and started pulling them out of boxes and dusting them off, and that's when I realized just how much they are sentimental to me. My grandmother has given me a Holiday Barbie every year at Christmas for the past 22 years of my life. Why is that something I should be ashamed of just because it's not visually pleasing to those who care more about the way a room photographs rather than the way the room makes you feel? So I happily had a custom shelf built just for my Barbies, painted it "ballerina slipper pink" and hung it above my new desk. I'm now happily displaying all 22 of my Barbies where I can see them every single day and be reminded of my grandma. I know I'll cherish them even more when she is gone

It's actually 2:30 am right now and I just got done folding our whites and hanging up wet shirts to dry. This is such a weirdly pathetic post, and you'll probably laugh in my face, but just look and realize at how many ridiculous blog followings you see on the internet. People go bananas over where an item is from on popular blogs because they have to have the exact same item. All I'm saying is, take time to think things through. Be yourself. Don't be another carbon copy of someone else just because what they like is "cool". I dislike white rooms, weird modern furniture, cats (i actually had two for 12 years! i'm just much more a dog person now), crop tops, avocados, non-animated movies, and especially heels with socks. It's all a matter of personal taste and finding your own amongst the sea of opinions/options that will come and go from your life. You shouldn't have to regret liking or not liking something just because it is or isn't cool. Buy the things you like without regret. Enjoy your cluttered mess. Go with your own flow. Just be you. XOXO


Crystal Cheetah

outfit by hellolyndsey
OUTFIT DETAILS: Goodwill skirt, Ross shirt and belt, Sally's crystal headband (from Tiffany), Payless flats, Gifted gold rings (from Josh), Gifted owl necklace (from Josh's aunt), Claires rose earrings.
Hello dolls! This outfit was from this past Sunday, when Josh and I ventured out for church and mexican food. I'll have to say, it's one of the most miserable feelings to have a belly full of mexican food and trying to take pictures in 90 degree heat. How do they stand eating such good food in such crappy heat in Mexico!? Bravo to their yummy food and incredibly strong stomachs.
I feel proud of myself for venturing out with so many different lipstick colors here lately. Pink and red are definitely my go-tos now, but I want to try out even more. I do have a coral-ish orange lipstick by Milani that I want to wear.. but I have no idea what to wear it with?! Looks like I'll be snooping around Pinterest for outfits with orange lipstick.. ;). I hope y'all enjoy your weekend dolls! Thanks for stopping by!! XOXO